Note: Not for the handful few who are completely satisfied
and happy with their whereabouts in life.
Reminiscence is a wonderful thing. There is nothing like
being cuddled up in a blanket late at night trying to sleep and reminiscing
about the proverbial "golden days". The stories, the characters, the
milestones all of them leading to those hushed smiles and the fuzzy feeling and
also probably to a possible case of sleep deprivation (or in my case:
incomplete syllabus for an exam). We all do analyze our stories so far, trying to
find out what we did good what were we good at who we liked or who liked us.
Some do it more often than not while others may postpone it for the post-retirement
stages of their life.
Often as an outcome of those discussions emerges a single
thread: a defining moment of life so far and more often than not it is not a
good thing. Personally I term it the "wrecking" turn. We all almost
have it that single moment in our history which, apparently, could have
dramatically altered our whole story. That one time when you succumbed to the
temptation, when you rationalized for irrational choices or plainly when you
made a boo-boo. There is no shame in admitting that. We are only human “screwing
up” is the only single attribute common among all of us, again probably.
What usually follows identification of that “wrecking turn”
is the possible set of different outcomes you could have had, if only, a
different path altogether, a different co-ordinate to be at, a different set of
people around you. And this is when you get stuck. Even if we want to change
something which may have lead us here, what we don’t want is to change who we
met along the way, life would not be the same if we had to exclude them.
Possibly that altered path would have company of great people too but it is too
great a risk to take, too much chance involved.
There is a large set of people who follow the “whatever happens
happens for good” mindset. They can object all they want but life is full of
these wrecking turns, every nook and corner seems to have one be it college,
professional life and/or personal life. Maybe when we will look back on these
some 10 years or so from now we would realize the cosmic intelligence leading
to it, but for now it just stinks a lot.
I really want to expand on the thought, but it would be an
ultimate irony if writing on “wrecking turns” itself becomes another “wrecking
turn”, so until next time.
